We are four here, rest are my cousins. We are planning for a beach party at last night of this year. Hopefully the total plan will work out successfully and it will be a very good excursion. I wish all of you guy a Happy New Year. I wish New Year brings myriad of opportunities for you.
Here is an inspiring one from PostSecret. This is my New Year gift to you all, stolen from PostSecret.
Every human being is governed by two distinct things, one is logic and another one is heart other way compulsion an indulgence respectively. Each of us is the combination of these two contradictory things. Contradictory: because they often argue each other for our next step.
Those who are totally governed by their logic are so called successful, an outstanding career, a beautiful housewife, one or two children and so on. On the other side those are fully governed by heart either massive so called successful or total disaster. In most of the case they are consider as worthless stuffs for the society. I don’t know which is the best? But both of them are happy in their personal life. But complication arises for the middle clan. They are equally governed by both of these factor and they lead a miserable life. But the good news is they are very few. Over the time each individual choose one side.
As quick as one choose his side he becomes free from all obligations. They have exact answer for their next steps. I am that cursed soul who still could not decide about his clan so the obvious repercussions. Sometime I governed by logic sometime heart. When I decide about my next things to do with the help my logic my heart argue and vice-versa. But surely one day I will choose one… surely I will.
At that time I was in class eight or nine something I guess. It was one of my cousins wedding ceremony. Traditionally we celebrate four or five big events. Whatever these are not important, the important is why all these for?
It was just before my final exam. So I could not involve with all those events. My mother was always anxious about me. That was the worst wedding ceremony I had ever encountered. My other cousins like Shuvo and so on enjoy the total ceremony awfully. Shuvo was then complete his HSC. So he got eternal free time to be there. But I couldn’t manage. I mediated myself by saying ok; one day will come when you will get such eternal vacation. You can do whatever you like to do and so on… But unfortunately that day never comes. Four or five of other cousins getting married after that but I could not attend any of the ceremony. What a reality. Shuvo is still free, he is still like a carefree bird and I am still busy, busy with various fucking stuffs.
I get the reality; I know that I can never be Shuvo. I am myself, I am Shiblee. These carelessness is inherent it cannot be achieved. Sometime I access myself as a careerist, fucking careerist. I am not gonna say that this is bad but this is not humanity. It cannot be…
I am promoted to Software Engineer from Associate Software Engineer. Funny! I have no more interest one Software Engineering. When I complete my undergrad I never thought that software engineering could be such a boring dull job. I always thought there might few challenges, but in reality they are dull and mediocre. Software Engineering becomes a dark side of my life. How much I hate software Engineering I don’t know. The total industry is based on mediocre people and they are not aware of their intelligence. They think themselves “Einstein”. There is room for creativity no room for innovation, juzz doing, doing fucking boring things.
I choose this life for myself but when I choose it I was not aware of it. I had every option to choose anything, because I at the top tier. I never imagined that it can be so dull. But this makes me mediocre. I still enjoy the coding, coding is my passion but I can’t enjoy Software Engineering. This gonna be real curse for me. May be one day I can come back from this cursed life. I know surely that I leave this profession but donno when…? Whatever, I am pursuing that glorious day I know it will come because it has to…
By the way the good news is my remuneration will be adjusted with the upgraded post and so facilities. Whatever, maybe I make myself more lucrative for Software Companies. This is the reality. When I don’t wanna be, nature wants me so. Fuck this fucking life. I hate it, I hate everything, I am sick God damn sick…
Recently, I become interested about Lisp. Paul Graham is the man makes me interested with his fabulous articles. This is quite different from our procedural or object-oriented paradigm. And what I like most is bottom up programming approach. You have to think differently than normal for this programming approach. But the messy thing I notice is brackets. Eighty percent of the code is actually brackets. Whatever I am enjoying the journey. Hopefully I can come up with few interesting code in recent days. Here is the first one…
(setq data ‘(a b c d e f g h I j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z))
(defun reverse-print(param-list)(IF (NULL param-list) NIL (print ( first (let ((return-list (reverse-print (rest param-list)))) param-list)))))
(reverse-print data)
I notice two incidents while I was on holiday. I like to share those with you guys. It’s all about life.
The day before yesterday I meet one of my childhood friends, he is a doctor now. He was so called mummy daddy good boy. And he was very sacred from the very beginning of his life. The very fast thing he told me was let’s have smoke. I can remember he argued with me quite a lot just because I smoke. Now he is a chain smoker. He proposed me to have some alcohol (alcohol are not legal in my country). This is what he is now.
Yesterday, I encounter one of my cousins. He is severely addicted with Heroine. I found him cookin’ a hit. After that he wants me to inject that on his body. I’d tried for almost two hours but found none. None of his vein was fit for inject and I’d tried with visible everyone. And in course of time he was getting more and more mad of that. Finally I gave up, I was sure that it was out of my range. After that he tried again for one hour. All of his veins are full of clot. He mad of it but nature doesn’t allow.
Who knows where time will takes us? Where nature will takes us? We start the journey but we don’t know our destiny. Probably this makes life beautiful.
I am an agnostic so I am not supposed to have any religious festivals. Well I have born in a Muslim family and over the time these become my inane attributes. Is that something, sounds hypocrisy? Ok, in most of the cases they are transformed to such extent that they loose their religious part. Now they are simply cultural festival. End of the day this is very difficult for me to get rid of this kind of things. Again in another psychology, agnostics are considered as escapist. And being an escapist is not possible for me to ignore such a significant religious festivals. In other way few prominent atheists think that it is very difficult for average people to live without any big festival and this is a big reason of survival of religions. Lot of people believes that they belong to any clan just because they attend their festivals nothing else. Ok, I can mention thousands of them but that does not really mean anything.
Whatever you choose for me, I celebrate the tomorrow’s festival and it is our Eid-ul-Adha. Muslim used to slaughter their domestic animal on the name of God. This culture is inherited from Ibrahim. Professor W. Montgomery Watt suggested that Muhammad import this festival from Meccans, because he tries to deceive them, Islam is closer to Meccans than Jews. Any of these could be the reason not important right now. Few nonbelievers argue with process of slaughter, they find the process is brutal. Whatever!!! I enjoyed the end result of Eid-ul-Adha. And I like beef more than anything else :-). I wish Happy Eid-ul-Adha for whole Muslim community and Eid-Mubarak to you all.
Ok, Zafar is right. Happiness is not an achievement rather attribute. This is an inane attribute of human being. I guess few born with such inane attributes; they are always happy whatever they face in real life. I guess I am cursed enough for not getting those lucky attribute. See, these sounds like depression. Yes, I am sadist. Zafar and I was arguing for couple of days on this topic [1][2]. He is right; we (most of us) never face cruel reality in our whole life, but we act so or think so. Well, this is not my realization I know it from very beginning but my mind is not ready to accept that, lol…
The day before yesterday, I was talking with one of my friend. We were talking about marry each other. But finally we reach to an interesting conclusion, we cannot be happy with each other because both of are sadist and we don’t know how to be happy. And On the flip side of the coin we cannot be happy with other as well. Rather we will involve two other innocent guy they might be happy. So what should we do? We don’t know… None of us…
This is 16th December, our glorious victory day. I don’t know how to celebrate it? Nobody ever knows what victory day is unless his /her impendence is snatched. May be the freedom fighters know it better than anybody else. Ok, what I am doing today? I am at my office and doing my usual job. Why? There is no good reason for that. I express my respect towards all freedom fighter. Actually not to the freedom fighter but their feeling that drives them towards it. This is because some of them become corrupted in their later life but this does not indicate that the feelings they feel at that time was hypocrisy. Sometime I afraid that the later generations do not show proper respect to their feelings. They deserve it whatever they did in their later life.
Everybody told me that my writings are sarcastic. Is it? I don’t know how write better because I can’t. These are the reflection of my life. If it is full of dull and boring shits then what can I do? Just think you don’t like to read it, how can I live such a life? My life is so miserable that tonight I knock very special one (probably the last one) through yahoo just to beg some company. If this is my life then how can I write something better? I don’t know. Do you know how can a guy write something better with such a miserable life? Why all these depression for? I can’t answer any of them. Even I don’t know why it is miserable? Even I don’t have any big reason. It is miserable because I feel so, isn’t it enough?
Today is 14th December, Martyr Intellectual Day. Just before the surrender, Pakistani Army and their local collaborators do the worst possible thing they could. They executed most of out intellectual peoples at that time, interesting psychology. They killed almost 991 educationists, 13 journalists, 49 physicians, 42 lawyers, and 16 litterateur, artists and engineers [wiki]. I never can imagined, how it became possible for them to think in such a weird way. Well forget about Pakistani Military, how local collaborator allow this to happen. May be they can depend themselves from any other obligations but how they avoid this phenomenon. I don’t know I did if I was there!!! Sometime I feel that was the right things we deserve. I am twenty five years of old and surprisingly I don’t know the history very well. I don’t have any clear idea. And this is not because of me; this is because of other scholars and intellectuals who survived. I am a good reader. I almost read what I get. They can’t provide me any history, they all are fucking biased. If I saw any intellectuals I always think he deserves it.
Few of my friends already get married and few are on the process. And the rest are on the queue. Very few like me are not thinking about it. I think by the end of next year most of my friends will get married. I think I need couple of more years for myself. This is not because of my career. This is because of my mental stability. Mentally I am not stable enough for it. And I need few more time for my indulgence like world tour etc…
Yesterday we stay at Adnan’s house. It was a nice get together after a long break. I don’t know why I feel most of us is not mentally sound and we are aware of that. We agreed on single point that we are sick and we are on the way of more severe case if we don’t change our life or living style. Finally we decide we should go bar at every Thursday night and drink till morning.
Usually we are not used with chatting on weird and nerd things. Most of the cases we make ourselves busy with philosophical or psychological controversial. But that was not yesterday. Few try to find their remedy inside marriage. Because it will change their life and they will find themselves more responsible, social and gregarious. Few are pursuing higher studies. And the rest like me are waiting for GODOT…
Last two days I didn’t write any blog. I am not busy with anything else but there is an interesting thing. In last few days I am exchange few message with an object. Ok, it wants me to deceive that it is a girl. I am not sure about that but overall I am enjoying. I don’t have much trust on cyber relationship. Even I never consider them as interesting stuff. But I think I am enjoying the conversation.
If it is not a girl I would not mind. I am least bothered with person behind it; I am considering it as a cyber identity which is girl. I believe most of us have lot of camouflage in our real life. Very few among us have that much courage to be truth full in real life. Otherwise most of us use camouflage for different perspective. So why do I mind if I find the the real one as a boy or any of my friends. Even I don’t mind if I found it as an IRC-bot unless it made any mistake.
I made gamble with all of life. I gamble with my personal life, my educational life and so my career. I never think what happen tomorrow. I never calculate my achievements. I might have a bright career but what I am not. Just a mundane Software Engineer. It was not easy for me to waste my life. I always fill my life with indulgence not compulsion. Now time has come to think about, think about what I have done.
I never condemn anybody for my life. I am the only responsible person for such a reckless life. It is I who made it. Whatever I got in my life they are not because of my perseverance rather they were gifted. I always think that I am lucky enough because I got everything almost without any effort. But now time has changed. This is one more time I start gambling with my career. Anything could happen. I took them as a part of the game. Still I believe this is my life and I am solely responsible for them.
I don’t know what I am doing, I don’t know where I am going, sometime I found myself waiting for disaster with whole of my life.
Currently I am reading another interesting book titled, “Muhammad: Prophet and Statesman” by W. Montgomery Watt. Here the author gives a pessimistic view of Muhammad’s life. Major focus of this book on Historical background of born of new religion-Islam, Historical background of Muhammad as Prophet, Influence of Jews and Christians on Islam and few other things still I didn’t explore.
Besides this it is good source of few historic phenomenons. Author analyzes the Hijrah and the first constitution of Medina on the basis of post war disturbed situation on Medina. Here he comes up with few pessimistic repercussions. I guess they might provide few good sources of thoughts.
Writer makes few guess about the profession of Muhammad on Medina. He is not sure about all of them I guess; at least there is no clear indication, evidence or background for his proclaim. Here he shows Muhammad as an aggressor. Sometime he becomes more offensive, like “In our peace-conscious age it is difficult to understand how a religious leader could thus engage in offensive war and become almost an aggressor.” Interestingly in the following paragraph he tries to mediate with “the raid or razzia was a normal feature of Arab desert life.”
Writer use “Strive” as the synonym of “Jihad”. I am not pretty sure about the transformation but he mentioned few verse of Quran those encourage for “Aggression” with the help this word. And finally he criticizes the expansion of Muslim Empire within one century. According to him this is only possible because of “Jihad”. Pretty interesting remarks indeed.
I have not completed this book yet. These are few things I have shared with you because I found them most noticeable. No other intensions…
Well, the title may not reflect my topic. Actually there is nothing called “Bangladeshi Blog.” But I am sorry that I cannot find any better title for it. Whatever I beg pardon for my limitation.
Recently I browse few blog based on my location. And interestingly few things are common in between users. Very few people continue their blog. And most of them are either technical or journalist and among those technical people most of them are computer programmer, funny indeed. Technical people write about few technical topics. People in other profession do maintain any blog. Well, that is not a problem because we still cannot trust this internet related technology except few.
Few of our journalists maintain their own blog. Even I didn’t expect that. But that is good sign. And what makes me more puzzled is one of our journalist was arrested in blog related issue. He was condemned for publishing local information towards the outer world and blah, blah, blah. This is very funny I guess. In this world of globalization nobody has any secret. Whatever this is not our topic.
And, the most interesting part is here. Most of the people write one or two entries in their blog. And almost every case they write about love, pretty interesting. Just choose a random person who writes one or two entries, you will find that was about love. Surprising statistics, I guess, just it check out…
I start my bogging with Technical blog. I am a Software Engineer and probably this is the only thing I can deal with. That’s why I write few technical topics in my blog. I know very well that I am not that much good at writing. And that’s why I start with technical topic because they need few words but lot of time. Now-a-days I am writing very few of them because I am busy with god damn other things.
Now, the other thing is why I made such an amalgamation of technical writing and my lifestyle in same place. Well, this is because it quite difficult for me to maintain two separate blog for them. And I guess both are equally important to know me well. That could be another reason to keep them parallel on my blog. What ever, I start blogging because I wanted to improve my writing skill. I guess one or two years before, it was very difficult for me to write such one paragraph in my native language. But now I guess at least I can write.
Whatever, probably I will come back with more interesting and cutting edge technical writing on mid February. May be those will be more interesting than before.
Yester day I watch a movie “Trainspotting”. Zafar gift that DVD, I don’t know why? I enjoyed it quite a lot. Not because it’s making because it reflect my past life pretty well. Funny, I know. But I was one of those bunches of shits who are sick of fucking scag. Now I am clean and I can proclaim it confidently. This is kind of feelings of observing me from outside. Whatever I enjoyed it and thanks to Zafar. Here is little conversation with zafar about that movie,
Zafar: matal cinema na mama??
Shiblee: it was cool
now why do you suggest me that one ?
Zafar: ha ha
just coz it was off track..
nothin else..
no reason for "rojjute shorpo vrom"
he he
Shiblee: na mama
Zafar: B-)
Shiblee: now tell me the reason, and you give when I was high, remember ?
???
ki mama kotha kou na ken ???
just for fun man
Zafar: brb
reffat is here
Shiblee: oks
Zafar: actually it was for no big reason...
Shiblee: I know
Zafar: when i used to take drugs I also had nightmares..
not as adverse as in this movie..
Shiblee: I know everyone does
Zafar: the movie just depicted those parts well...
Shiblee: yes I guess
Zafar: apart frm that the rest of the movie seemed trash to me..
Shiblee: It reflects my part of life very well
Zafar: they depicted that part very well
ha ha
see..
Shiblee: I don't feel so
Zafar: hmm
There is an interesting chapter in The Satanic Bible, “Hell the Devil, and How to sell Your Soul”. Here the author tries to say the Satanist need not sell their soul to Satan which is most important in any other religion. What I am doing now? I am selling my soul to other people rather than God. What I am? Am I Prostitute? Pimp? What? I donno…
First time I sell my soul to someone very special. That was not a good experience at all. And now the scenario is different, now I am looking for someone to sell my soul, pretty much interesting. Sometime I guess I become a salesman of myself in slung Pimp. On the other way I became a commodity… lol…
BUET tries to make me a better commodity. But I was reluctant at that time. Now I make myself a commodity but alas! I cannot maintain that quality. And I have no one to condemn.
Probably most enumerated wish of human is “I wish I could be child again.” I never think so. I had an interesting psychology that this is the phrase of timid who dares to face tomorrow. I always deceive myself I am not among them. I have every courage to face the worst tomorrow. Even I believed that I am the creator of my own tomorrow so why I would be afraid of my own creation. Now I am loosing myself day by day.
I am selling myself, I afraid to face reality, I afraid to face myself. Even, sometime I am afraid of facing a better tomorrow. Who knows what next…
I know very well how I complete my undergraduate. All my credentials are so weak for higher studies though I am trying for that. I guess I am not that much shit. Or maybe I am. My grade is low, GRE score is low, TOEFL score is low and what more. Some time I wonder why they choose me. Being refused from so many places I wonder what I deed in my undergraduate. I don’t know what? This is absurd. I guess BUET should cease my certificates. Am I that much shit?
This is frustrating. This is quite frustrating… People like me should not pursue for higher studies. Now-a-days I asked myself why I don’t notice these things in my undergrad. Again I come up with an explanation if I notice these before what might I did? Ok, these are useless verses now. Now I am shit, a bloody fucking shit. As soon as I realize this fact better for me.
I don’t know why the same thing happens with me periodically. I guess I am that much dull to learn from any of this incident. Every time every one betrayed me whom I believe. I don’t know why this happens to me every time. Now I persuade myself, there must be something wrong in me. I don’t know what that is but there is something.
You know what I have learned from my life, please trust no one, and please don’t trust any body. You can’t depend on anybody. Mind it; if any one gets any single chance he will fuck your ass. I am pissed off with this life. One of the professors refused me today for funding. I don’t know the reason but I can guess what could be!
Ok, Finally I release version 1.1. It covers almost every feature I promised. But few problems exist with efficacy. Whatever a better marketing can conceal any thing. Though this version is targeted for universities, one year professional experience is added as bonus feature. And that is the reason I am waiting for the final release. Ok hope for the best with rest of the things. I end with an interesting joke about marketing,
Father: I want u to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: I will choose my own bride!
Father: But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Well, in that case... OK.
Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: I've a husband for ur daughter.
Bill Gates: But my daughter is too young to marry!
Father: But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Ahh, in that case... OK
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.
President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!
Father: But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law.
President: "Ahhh, in that case... OK
This is how marketing is done!!!
Yes I do...
Today is one year anniversary of my professional career. Time is flying I just cannot keep the pace with it. By the time I meet few outstanding professionals in software industry. I am little bit of lucky that I start my career from KAZ. I had few part time experiences at my undergraduate level in SDSL. But after my undergraduate I feel I need some changes. I am great full to Reffat Zaman because I came to know the professional world through his guidance. And he was ready to offer a handsome remuneration for staying at SDSL. But I was stubborn at that time and I switch from SDSL to KAZ. There is nothing lucrative in KAZ but I need that changes that’s it. But in feel in KAZ they make me professional, they able to create the professionalism inside me. That’s why I am not going to say “I am great full to Wahid Bhai” what I deed in case of Reffat Bhai.
Whatever, I loose the main string. Am I enjoying the time? May be may be not? But I guess I need some change again. I don’t know when and where I will find my perfect place? Probably I will get one, one day? Until that I will remain floating. This is not very good experience indeed. Whatever I am fine and I will be.
Microsoft comes up with online storage feature by live Skydrive with typical Microsoft marketing policy. I am using box.net in my blog for a long time. Here I embed an object from skydrive just because I wanna familiar with it.
You cannot navigate through the document inside embedded objects; you must go to Skydrive site for the document list but you can embed a single document. Funny policy…
.NET provides an interesting set of functionality “Stack trace”. Think you want to know the calling method inside from a method, and you want to service according to calling method. Here are few code segments that can help on that occasion. You can use...
Environment.StackTrace
Here you will get full stack trace information. Again .NET provide you Stack trace as a data Structure. See the following code block...
System.Diagnostics.StackTrace stackTrace = new System.Diagnostics.StackTrace(true);
foreach (System.Diagnostics.StackFrame stackFrame in stackTrace.GetFrames())
Console.WriteLine(string.Format("Called from class {0}, in file {1}, inside method {2}, at line number {3}", stackFrame.GetMethod().DeclaringType.Name, stackFrame.GetFileName(), stackFrame.GetMethod().Name, stackFrame.GetFileLineNumber()));
You can iterate through your necessary information. Funny stuff I guess.
I am planning for PhD. It does not sound inline with me but this is fact. This is not much important issue the more important thing I guess the process, process of pursuing of higher study. The total process makes me more ostentatious than ever before. Some time I feel like a pimp. I am not good at marketing and I never wanna be. But, surely if you go through this process you learn lot about marketing at least you can advertize for yourself.
Well, another thing is the total process is massively demoralizing. I mean it demoralize you for rest of your work. Now a day I feel I can’t concentrate on my other works like before. Things are getting complicated in office in home in everywhere. I heard from few of our senior guys that, they can’t fit them anywhere until any confirmation. Nothing seems meaningful or peaceful. I saw few them break up with their girl friends. I am really pissed off…
I am very reluctant to take photograph of myself or others rather I like it with ordinary objects. Even I don’t like to take photograph of scenic moments. Here is an interesting psychology, “I like to carry Golden moments in my mind nowhere else.” Whatever, here is few of my photographs from Odyssey.
My intention was not to publish these photographs rather google is marketing for their cool new feature in blogger login page. I just want to check it out, and I choose these photographs on that occasion.
Their sins are not commission, but of omission. It’s what they don’t say, not what they do say, that makes you feel you must account to them. They are much too crafty to make overt demands upon you, because they know you resent it, and would have a tangible and legitimate reason for denying them. A large percentage of these people have special “attributes” which make their dependence upon you more feasible and much more effective. Many psychic vampires are invalids or are “mentally or emotionally disturbed.” Other might feign ignorance or incompetence so you will, out of pity–or more often, exasperation –do things for them.
Ok, these are few things the writer mentioned about psychic vampire. I almost agree in all points with author. Sometime you can’t condemn them for any things. But their sin is not so little, mind it they drain your vital energy. They drain your energy so tactfully that you don’t even notice that. Not all of them do these intentionally but they just can’t. What I feel, in most cases their drawback is created by themselves, not natural. They are not deprived they make them so. So you need not be responsible for them. I found few of them as severely drug addicted. Don’t try to cure them, trust me its dangerous!
Here is a remarkable topic “Psychic Vampire”. Have you ever notice this one? According to Anton Szandor Lavey, “Psychic Vampires are individuals who drain others of their vital energy”. I told before that I am reading an interesting book about Satanism and I read few reviews about it as well. First I encounter this topic in this book and I found it very exciting. Most of the reviewers mostly agree with me that this is the most fascinating chapter of this book. The title of this chapter is “Not all Vampires Suck Blood”.
There might be another reason for my interest. I am pretty much interested about psychology especially human psychology. Here the writer places a different type of psychological occurrence that is very recurrent in every society. But very rarely we notice them for special treatments. But they deserve very special handling by their own virtue. They practice fine art of making others feel responsible and even indebted to them, without cause.
Here I am trying to make amalgamation of writer comments about them and my experience about these sorts of people (those I suppose as Psychic Vampire). I am not a reviewer I just share my ideas, matches and contradictions with the author. Let meet them first…
“This type of person can be found in all avenues of society. They fill no useful purpose in our lives, and are neither love objects nor true friends. Yet we feel responsible to the psychic vampire without knowing why.” - Anton Szandor Lavey. Do you get them, sure you have meet few of them. These make me interested about this topic.
(...continued)
I don’t know what the hell happening to me. Now a days I spend few of time in fucking social networking site like orkut, facebook etc. These are the things I really hate. I never spend any of my minute in such a fucking occasion. But I don’t know why I do these now. Am I feeling unsecured? I can’t like these changes but I am undone.
This is not the case that I got lot of free time now a day. Rather I am passing my busiest time. But I don’t why these happen to me. Certainly there is something wrong with me. I know few of guys like Zafar who read my blog. Can you guess what the hell is happening? You guys know me better than anybody else. Day by day I am becoming more sullen. Please help me, plz…
Wahid Bhai & ShuvroRecently, I start reading an interesting book, titled “The Satanic Bible” by Anton Szandor LaVey. May be I have already quote few interesting topics from there. This is book band for quite long time. This is basically collection of essays and rituals. Few of the essays are really interesting, and I am trying to write something from them in my blog. At least I encounter a different point of view that I never encounter before. It may seem weird or devilish to you but just think about, there are few people they think in this way. I am only interested to know about their thinking and perspective nothing else.
QA has released Beta 2. Seems it is more stable than previous versions. Although it meets client’s minimum requirement, I am not pretty sure about the success of the product. So once again everything depends upon marketing department. Anyway it is the complete version from academic point of view. Few UI related up gradation is incorporated in this version; I am using spectacles twenty four seven. And it also incorporate few philosophical changes those I propose in the middle of this cycle.
Well, I am being asked by few of my friends about version. This is something funny of course. But there is an inane reason behind it. I just track down major changes in my life. Like version control software. Ok, let me explain a little bit more.
Human being reacts differently with different situation. Even in same kind of situation they may react differently. This is not unusual. And this is not guilt. This cannot be hypocrisy at all. Most of the reaction of human being depends upon time and available information. Ummm, let me explain with an example.
I encounter different things like chocolate, ice-cream, toys etc at our everyday life. But these things do not bring same sort feeling or eagerness. Like once I want to have them every time I saw them. But now these bring nothing inside me. I just want to tell that none of them is false, none of them is lie. Both of them are my feelings. It is time which makes may reaction different. So, the most important conclusion is, if I love you today that do not mean I can’t hate you tomorrow. Again If I hate you tomorrow that does not mean my yesterday was false or I am a hypocrite.
In course of life, people encounter different situation and deceive knowledge from them. And this knowledge helps to decide in future situation. You may achieve some sort of experience that insists you react differently in same kind of situation. This is not crime, this is natural human behavior. Human beings are changing. Only dead body cannot change. This version control phenomenon is just like the same. It just remind me that “How I think that day?” I am trying to notice every major changes in my life, that’s it nothing else.
I will end up with a weird experience of my life. Once I had a friend. At the certain age of our relation I realize that I love her. We spend lot of our time together. And after a certain time later I realize that I don’t love her anymore. But this is my arrogance that perceives me that this is crime. None of us changed. Why don’t you love her anymore? You are a nasty hypocrite. So I always think that I love her. But it was a mistake. Still I don’t know what change my feelings? But I least I can say that none of them was false, none of them was fake. They are just different responses of different time from same person toward same human being.
Love should go toward where it should go, so as well hate. Love is the most intense emotions felt by man; another is hate. If you try to love everyone you only lessen your feelings for those who deserve your love. Repress hatred can lead to many physical and emotional ailments. By learning to release your hatred towards who deserve it, you cleanse yourself of these malignant emotions and need not take your pent-up hatred out on your loved one.
You cannot love everyone; it is ridiculous to think about that. If you love everyone then you just loose your natural power of selection and wind up being a pretty poor judge of character and quality. If anything is used too freely it just looses its true meaning. You don’t have any right to rundown other who deserve your love. Please just consider those who deserve your love before loving everyone.
I don’t find any good reason to spit on your enemies and just let them go thinking “God will punish him”, instead of humiliating them by yourself. This is because of your failures; you don’t have enough courage to show your enemies what they deserve. I don’t find any reason of being happy when they are misfortune by superior power. Never let them go without what they ought to have. Please don’t be skeptic on any occasion.
A new bonus feature is coming with version 1.1, better communication skill. So, in repercussion better marketing skill as well. This was not supposed to release with version. But, cruel reality taught me that skill. In course of all this process I became aware of these sorts fucking skills. Then, may be this fucking skill help me out to pursue my clients. Hope for the best, may be it will leads me toward my goal.
Hi, it is quite a long time I am not writing any technical blog. One important reason is I am out of technical stuffs for long time. And another one is I am not learning any new things. I repeat some boring works regularly.
Whatever, I encounter very interesting thing. At least I found it interesting to me. Recursive Database query. Things are like; say you have a content table in database called ItemContent. And your content is hierarchical. That means some content have parent child relationship among them. And you got a separate table called ItemHierarchy. The relationship is defined in this table. Now you need all the descendant of any item those meets your requirement or May you need descendant required until a specific level. Here I show an interesting recursive query for these sorts of phenomena. This is highly Microsoft SQL specific implementation; you may try it on other database system.
WITH RecursiveTable(ID,Depth) AS
(
SELECT ID,1 FROM [ItemContent] as IC WHERE [Name] = 'root' UNION ALL
SELECT childID,RT.Depth+1 from ItemHierarchy HT inner join RecursiveTable RT ON RT.ID = HT.parentID AND T.Depth <5
)
SELECT ID FROM RecursiveTable;
The query is pretty simple, only interesting thing inside it, it is recursive. The first part sort out the specific parent and the rest will recursively find their descendents. That’s it.
This is well known philosophy that people those are lonely maintain dairy. At least some people believe on that way. Blog is a kind of diary. With the blessing of modern technology we are now maintain our diary in website so that people can read it and know about us. They can communicate with us through blog to relief from our loneliness for little bit of moment.
Now days, I am writing blog more frequently than before. Does it mean I am becoming lonelier day by day? May be, this is true. I am becoming lonelier day by day. May be this loneliness insist me to write blogs. Because, I don’t find anyone in my surrounding to whom I share my feelings and that’s why I write them to my blog with the intension of share them with thousands of people. Sometime time I feel I am so lonely that loneliness itself leaves me alone.
This is my twenty fifth birthday. Adnan and Apu manage a cake from kings, probably at 11:30 pm. I have leaded almost one third of my life. I am ashamed of quality of the image. In fact we don’t have any digital camera tonight :-(. The photo is taken by my mobile camera. Whatever here it is…
Life is beautiful...Sometimes, I feel I am becoming a pimp day by day. As like as pimp advertise for their prostitutes, I do it for myself. May be, worse than them. Something like I am prostitute come and fucks me. And you will get yourself satisfied. Or maybe I am male whore; I can fuck you better than anybody else. You know marketing for yourself is kind of weird thing. But, fucking life, I have to do that, do that for myself.
Tentatively it was before my final exam in last semester. It was the most important time I have ever encountered in my life. Prior to start of my professional career it presents me almost factual essence of real life. The influence of that time reflects in my life so much that some time I think I became a one new after that.
The most important things, I learn is nothing would wait for you, how important you would is not an issue. If you got a real opportunity you have to have used it right that time, at your own. No one will leave that for you for infinite time or no one will prepare that one for you. You may get several opportunities in rest of your life, but by the time you will lose few of your costly times. Choose the right things at right times is the most vital challenge.
Consequently, a very small mistake from you is becomes an advantage for your rival. And the very foolish one will definitely use that one against you, as because he is your rival. If he don’t have that much intelligence to use that against you, surely they never ever cannot be your rival.
Well, these are the things probably you have heard so much time that you become bore of that. But they are the fact, and from life what I have learned is all of those are repercussion of pretty simple thing. Never do something emotionally in real life, because almost every time it creates a problem for you.
I still don’t know why I always listen to my heart than brain. Every time it creates lot of difficulties for me. In Contrast, It gave me a sound mental peace that I never encounter in other ways. May be this is the only advantages of this. You have to trade of between these two, and I think this is not so easy. Almost every time I fail to do that.
1. Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
2. Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
3. Satan represents unfiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self deceit!
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
5. Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of the concern of the psychic vampire!
7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!
8. Satan represents all of the so called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
9. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!
If birth and dead both control by God then why such a birth discrimination take place? This is very interesting when I found people born with such inequality, persuade himself rest of his life not to do any kind of blasphemies, just because he expect justice from same arbitrator at day of reckoning. Sometime I think this is the only proof of God. He persuades us about his fairness without showing any illustration of that.
(For sure, I am not atheist...)
Were leaving together,
But still its farewell
And maybe well come back,
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
Were leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?
Its the final countdown...
Were heading for venus and still we stand tall
Cause maybe theyve seen us and welcome us all
With so many light years to go and things to be found
Im sure that well all miss her so.
How can i just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When i stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all i can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what i've got to face
I wish i could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much i need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space
But to wait for you, is all i can do and that's what i've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos i'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance i've gotta take
