Saturday, December 29, 2007

I'm still busy

At that time I was in class eight or nine something I guess. It was one of my cousins wedding ceremony. Traditionally we celebrate four or five big events. Whatever these are not important, the important is why all these for?

It was just before my final exam. So I could not involve with all those events. My mother was always anxious about me. That was the worst wedding ceremony I had ever encountered. My other cousins like Shuvo and so on enjoy the total ceremony awfully. Shuvo was then complete his HSC. So he got eternal free time to be there. But I couldn’t manage. I mediated myself by saying ok; one day will come when you will get such eternal vacation. You can do whatever you like to do and so on… But unfortunately that day never comes. Four or five of other cousins getting married after that but I could not attend any of the ceremony. What a reality. Shuvo is still free, he is still like a carefree bird and I am still busy, busy with various fucking stuffs.

I get the reality; I know that I can never be Shuvo. I am myself, I am Shiblee. These carelessness is inherent it cannot be achieved. Sometime I access myself as a careerist, fucking careerist. I am not gonna say that this is bad but this is not humanity. It cannot be…

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