eternal repiner...

I am one of those lucky fellows who had employed with handsome remuneration prior completing there under grad. Probably my job was one of the best deals at that time. But I was not satisfied. This is not that I expect more remuneration or amenities. Rather dissatisfaction is something like my inherent property. Probably I will never be satisfied, satisfied with anything. I like to repine.

As I am a software engineer my job is programming/coding, and I like coding very much. So I like the things that I am supposed to do in my office but I am not happy with my status. Even I don’t have any more desires also. Happiness is an inane property that can’t be achieved. Actually this is sounds very irritating. I guy who don’t have any more desires but he is not happy with his current condition is very difficult to tolerate.

Sometime I became frustrated in pursuit of void. This is very funny. Once my reporting boss asked me, “Shiblee, would you please tell me, is there anything that could make you happy?” I couldn’t answer him anything. Probably nobody likes this kind of guy but I am very witty to hide them from others so till now this does not create any big trouble for me. But the fact is how long I will be able to hide them from others?

Another, irritating thing that I notice in me is I just got frustrated very quickly. Things are like I can’t keep on trying something. Certainly this is not a good sign. So what is the obvious consequence of above twos? I am an all time frustrated guy… lol… Few days ago, Shamim asked me, “How could you manage to be frustrated all time?” Anyway, I am as I am and this is what I am and now I am trying to be happy with my unhappiness.