Plz, don't read it!!!

I have listened few-great-speeches by great people. All are talking about listen to your heart, listen to your heart and listen to your heart. “Listen to your heart” does it really mean anything? What the fuck it means? I don’t know. All these remind me the quote by Taylor Dryden in Fight Club. “We’ve all been raised by television to believe that we’d be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars - but we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed-off.” My life is becoming a piece of shit day-by-day. And what is happening to me? Is that usual? May be this is the normal. I am not changing I am fucking pissed off. I start to hate myself, what else a man could have when he start hating himself.

Last five years I don’t have any success just failure after failure, what it is??? Is that life I am living??? I forget to dream, I afraid to dream; my failure becomes so monotonous and so certain that I afraid for any next step. I am completely demoralized… I have nothing to hope. I am failure… I am failure… I am failure… I am collapsed.