Everything has a limit. It seems like I am waiting for GODOT. I have to wait in every stage till death. Waiting for Admission, and then waiting for funding, then waiting for VISA… Can you tell me when this waiting will be finished, when I need not to wait for something or someone? I am unable to bear it anymore. It gives me the ultimate pain. I am just pissed off. I don’t know what to do, where to go or even how to handle this. Why me? Is this all about luck or I am a shit.
It seems I am losing my strength, very few of that is left. I can’t bear it anymore. I think if they take too much time I will be mentally disorder by these times. I can’t explain what’s happening inside me. Can anyone tell me what the hell I should do? My life sucks. Nothing touch me now I can’t do anything, I can’t concentrate on anything it’s like paralyzed at least mentally.
I wanna relief, relief from real life, relief from real life. I am sick of it. I wanna break. Why I don’t get everything I strive in ease. Why? Why?? Why??? Life is a big shit, a big shit. I hate my life. I hate it too much. I am bearing it for so many years but I hate it, I hate it more than anything else in the universe. Why my life so weird? Why I have to struggle for every single step? Why? Why?? Why??? Is these all I deserve? Please answer me, please.
May be this is where the fun of living hides... May be you wont be able to feel like you are living, unless you get into these kinds of situations.
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