Me & My Emotions

I don’t know why it always seems too far away from me. Every time my destiny seems too far away from me no matter how far it really is. I am in my way right now. I thought I will face my VISA interview this month but it seems like I have to wait for next month. All my papers are not ready yet so I have to wait. Now I have decided about few things. Definitely I will choose Oklahoma offer as because right now it seems more lucrative to me.

Mamun is doing well. I thought I will work with him for the rest of the time. At least I have to manage a fixed amount of time for him. So it will not be easy to maintain so many things together. So I have find out what to cut off. Anyway, hope for the best. Life is terrific things t handle.

In last few months I notice one thing that I should have more strength for myself. I should have more mental strength. I know it will evolve over the time but I have to be more careful about this issue. In course of time I feel that few things those make my nervous. I saw my father, one thing that I noticed in his life; he never got anxious about anything. He is such a cool man. When I was arrested by police and police called him that sir you son is now in our custody, he just said ok.

At the time my grandmother died he was reading Quran. He just kept continuing without saying any single word, not even any expression. Sometime I feel like he doesn’t have any emotion at all. When I got admitted at BUET and told him, he said ok, now which department you want to enroll yourself CSE or anything else? Then I got job he told me ok but don’t think of be settled down keep looking. Then I got admitted in different universities for PhD, he says ok and tell me how I can help you in this regard. And all these are emotion less speech! Without any expression!

Why I am not like him? How he manage that much strength? Every time I wonder when I saw him. Emotion! Emotion! Is a pretty bad thing. Human being should have any no emotion. I want to be like him. Emotion less cool old guy!