Nothing comes Painlessly

For me, nothing comes painlessly. So there is no wander that I will not get my VISA at first chance. This is so predictable. US embassy supplied me a paper suggesting that my VISA is approved but it will take few more time for the administrative purpose. Anyway, I have nothing to do, other than waiting for their call. I came back home with hope that someday they will call me and collect my passport. Here is brief of my interview,

Me: Good Afternoon
Consular: Good Afternoon. Apni azke kemon acen?
Me: Bhalo
Consular: Is English Ok?
Me: Yes Sir.
Consular: So, you are going to study in US, what level of study?
Me: Doctoral
Consular: Which Program?
Me: Computer Science.
Consular: Which University?
Me: University of Oklahoma
Consular: Wooow! You are going Oklahoma. Do you like American football?
Me: No
Consular: No! Surely you will like when you will get there.
Me: May be.
Consular: Did you take any standardize test for University of Oklahoma?
Me: Yes, both TOEFL and GRE. But I hadn’t received my official TOEFL score, so I got the printed version, is that alright?
Consular: yes, of course.

I supplied my papers.

Consular: Good score!!!
Me: Thank you.
Consular: So University is bearing all the expenses, what if in case of any exception.
Me: Ooooh! My father is solvent and definitely he will support me from Bangladesh. I have the Affidavit copy of this declaration. You wanna see it?
Consular: yes.

I supplied my papers.

Consular: ok, what subject you want to pursue in you PhD program?
Me: Data Stream Mining.
Consular: What is it?
Me: Mining live data, kind of generating knowledge from live information or flow of information.
Consular: What will you do after your PhD?
Me: I will join as faculty.
Consular: Which university?
Me: Any prestigious university in Bangladesh.
Consular: I see you are from BUET, what about BUET?
Me: Definitely BUET is the first choice.
Consular: Good. Currently you are serving as a Software Engineer at Kaz Software Ltd, right?
Me: yes.
Consular: What kind of project?
Me: Industrial Document Management.
Consular: Cool, Ok Sir you VISA has been approved. But you know this administrative tasks, it always takes time. Collect your passport right now. We will contact you later. Keep patience and we appreciate your patience.
Me: Thanks you.

Then he supplied me my passport and a paper suggesting,

Your VISA has been conditionally approved. But due to some administrative task it will take few times. We are unable to say how much time it will take and in these times we are unable to answer any question about your VISA status.

We are suggesting that until you get your VISA in hand do not make any specific plan to go to USA. Please keep patience, and we appreciate your patience.

I don’t know what to do now other than waiting. Waiting is always a painful task. Life is like that. Anyway hope for the best and wish me good luck.

Big Day Tomorrow

This is one of the longest weeks in my life. When it becomes too close I don’t want to loose it anymore. I have submitted my papers last Sunday. And tomorrow is another Sunday, my interview date. This is the end of last couple month’s frustration. I have heard lot about US embassy from my childhood. Tomorrow I will see it in real. I never went there before, so it will be a new experience for me.

I have waited for tomorrow for the whole week. Who knows what they will decide. I try my best to prepare my papers and the rest is up to them. One thing seems very interesting to me: This two minutes interview govern my next five years and justify my last couple of months. What an irony, funny, funny indeed!!! Hopefully it will be fine. Life is too much uncertain, unpredictable, too much…

My Books

I love books, I love to read and I love to explore. Those who likes to travel likes books in most cases. Starting a new book is like start a new journey where the writer is your guide. He will takes you diversified places at different times, introduce different peoples and lifestyles. At the end if you like the journey you will like the book. Different types of books do this same thing differently. If you fail to travel with the writer then surely you will not like that book.

I feel like books are message, a message from writer to all like a mass media. Every time I read a book I try to find out the message the writer try to give. Surely every book gives some message otherwise he wouldn’t write it. Its like an adventure, is like in search of treasure. You have to find out the message among the immense source of texts. Unless you can sort out the messages you will not like the book at least it will not make you think about it. So complete waste of time.

Books are experience of a guy. It could be real it could be fiction but it gives you a clear idea about how people react in some situations. When you read a book you are sharing writer’s experience. Book is the perfect place to share other’s experiences.

I found few books very refreshing. When I read them I feel refreshed even the essence remains few hours more. They are just like refreshing drugs. Books are fun a very good fun. Fun of life. I try to read some books at my idle times. And I am very conservative about books. I never share my books with anyone. Probably this is the case for everyone who likes books.

NB: I have finished my stock I have read them all. If anyone has any suggestion please leave the name and author’s name as comment.

Addictive Stuffs

This morning I have read an article about distraction by famous Paul Graham titled Disconnected Distraction. The article is something about distraction and addictive element of life. Well addictive element is a very vague term. At first glance it reminds everyone about narcotics, alcohol and other stuffs like that. Surely they are addictive but the question is how much. Well a lot, but not more than few stuffs that are considered as innocent like television, computer games, internet and so on. I never heard about anybody who takes drugs for whole day but I heard about lot of guys who watch television for whole day or surfing internet for whole day.

Surely there are some goods on it. Paul Graham used an appropriate analogy,

“If you drink too much, you can solve that problem by stopping entirely. But you can't solve the problem of overeating by stopping eating.”

Well I have few stories in my own.

I used to watch television at early stage of my life. Everyone knows how much addictive it is so I am not going to tell about that. Then one day I realize that I am just wasting my time, “Is this something I suppose to do?” No, obviously not. So I stopped watching television. This story sounds pretty good. But the real story is not that much innocent. Actually by this time I had got something more addictive, Computer Games!!! So start wasting my time on it. Sure I did few important things with my computer also. Then I got more addictive one, Internet!!! I spend most of my time in front of computer so internet. After few days I realize that it brings more bad than good for me. No doubt about that internet is immense source but the problem is I am not designed to deal with such immense source of information. I know hell of a lot about different things that I am not supposed to know. At least they do not bring any good for me.

Lastly I have identified few applications and sites and decided not to go there anymore. But you know it doesn’t work pretty well. Thousands of similar things are out there. I don’t know how get out of this abysmal pit. I have tried lot of technique but no luck. Surely it is more addictive than anything I have ever seen before. It is okay with idle but the problem arises when it distract me at my working time. I guess the problem lies in somewhere else.

This is a world of business everything from television to internet all are business tools. So there is no wonder that they will make addict to increase their revenue, this is certain. Why I will allow them to use me for their business? No reason for that. I have to be wolf not sheep. May be it will work.

Probably everybody will be agree with me that internet waste our valuable times. I am not going to tell that we should stay apart but I wanna tell we should care about our time more than that. However, I am still looking for a better technique; surely I will found one, one day.

Final Countdown

I have completed my VISA application. Now I have to face VISA interview. Almost all papers are ready. It’s always difficult for me to handle papers. I am not good at that. I sorted out few problems in my papers and fixed as soon as they noticed. So it takes few more time than expected. I am almost at the end of this frustrating complicated process. It starts from August, 2007 and now is July, 2008. And I am still one step behind it. Anyway hope for the best.

This is total frustrating era of my life. I was never upset with anything like this process. In every steps I prepared my papers and keep waiting that’s it so the total frustration. I had enjoyed a long holiday after my BUET admission but that was that much frustrating. I hope US embassy will be happy with my papers at least there is no allegation against me. So hopefully they will be satisfied. Now I am waiting for the final touch. I am little bit tensed but not much. Because I can bear any more stress.

I guess I need rest a complete rest. So, I have decided to take a long break. I need it too much. I feel like I am tired, I am tired of life. Every time I wish my old days, the carefree cheerful life. I want it back!!!

Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman

I have just finished one of the best book written by any geek. Well I am sure about the last word. He is not a geek at all he is a scientist not usual one probably he is one of the greatest scientist of twentieth century. His name is Richard P. Feynman. He is most publicly known scientist in the world. I am talking about “Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman”, Adventure of a Curious Character. I heard a lot about this book but for some reason I never got it before.

Probably, irrespective of reader this book gives the idea about how far a human being can go. How many things can happen in one life? Those who called life is short probably never heard the name Feynman!!! This is kind of autobiography and he is talking about himself, about his life, about a giant mind. I wander how it becomes possible for a human being to live such a weird life. After reading this book anyone will say this is too much, really too much, probably he was joking. He started from his boyhood. He got tremendous style of writing with colloquial language. You can read the whole book without any break.

He is very good at telling stories. Here he talks about himself. This is a master piece. He tells about himself in such a way that it gives you feel like you could be Feynman if you worked hard a bit more and be more consistent. He is a super genius. I have decided to finish all his books one by one. Let me see how far I can go. But from my point of view everybody should read this book. This book is something special, something very very special.

Here is his official website. Here is Encyclopedia Britannica article about Feynman.

People often think I’m a faker, but I’m usually honest, in a certain way – in such a way that often nobody believes me!

– Dick Feynman

Thirteen Phrases for Living

In my office there is a printer attached with my pc. This is a shared printer. Everyone can print by this printer. We got three building in out office and there is five or six printer distributed in different building. In some cases few of my colleagues choose wrong printer from network rather than nearest and correct them by printing again. So, everyday my printer serves few requests like that. Ok, now come to the point, today I got a paper on the tray with an interesting thing printed on it. The title was Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Thirteen Phrases for Living. It was so interesting that I kept it with the intention that if anyone asks for this paper I will give it to him otherwise I will keep it to me. So, nobody asked and it is here with me right now. Have a look at these thirteen statements, its cool.

1. I love you not for who you are, but who I am when I’m by your side.
2. No person deserves your tears, and who deserves them won’t make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn’t love you as you wish, it doesn’t mean you’re not loved with all his/her being.
4. A true friend is the one who holds your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be seated by his/her side and know you’ll never have him/her.
6. Never stop smiling, not even when you’re sad, someone might fall in love with your smile.
7. You may only be a person in this world, but for someone, you’re the world.
8. Don’t spend time with someone who doesn’t care spending it with you.
9. Maybe God wants you to meet many wrong people before you meet the right one, so when this happens, you’ll be thankful.
10. Don’t cry because it came to an end. Smile because it happened.
11. There will always be people who’ll hurt you, so you need to continue trusting, just be careful.
12. Become a better person and be sure to know who you are before meeting someone new and hoping that person knows who you are.
13. Don’t struggle so much, best things happen when not expected.

Anyway, I feel like these statements are something very fancy to read very encouraging for depressed heart but it is very difficult to think like that or feel like that.

Safari

I have just installed Safari, a web browser by Apple Inc. for windows platform. Actually it was released last year and I didn’t test it previously. Yesterday one of my colleagues suggested me to use Safari for a while. There is nothing special with it except its rendering engine. I feel like it is very good at font rendering. I guess it is pretty good at overall rendering images and texts. I use it today because I was struggling with gmail and firefox. For some reason my gmail was not loading at my firefox. So I used it today. And I feel like it’s a bit faster than other browser. I am not sure about it; just my first impression is like that. I am big fan of firefox. So it’s a bit difficult for me to choose another one. Apart from that I never liked the user interface Apple used in their product. But Apple is famous for their fancy user interface. So probably everyone like their user interface. It is my problem that I can’t like that. Anyway at least you should try if you never tried it before.

Me & My Emotions

I don’t know why it always seems too far away from me. Every time my destiny seems too far away from me no matter how far it really is. I am in my way right now. I thought I will face my VISA interview this month but it seems like I have to wait for next month. All my papers are not ready yet so I have to wait. Now I have decided about few things. Definitely I will choose Oklahoma offer as because right now it seems more lucrative to me.

Mamun is doing well. I thought I will work with him for the rest of the time. At least I have to manage a fixed amount of time for him. So it will not be easy to maintain so many things together. So I have find out what to cut off. Anyway, hope for the best. Life is terrific things t handle.

In last few months I notice one thing that I should have more strength for myself. I should have more mental strength. I know it will evolve over the time but I have to be more careful about this issue. In course of time I feel that few things those make my nervous. I saw my father, one thing that I noticed in his life; he never got anxious about anything. He is such a cool man. When I was arrested by police and police called him that sir you son is now in our custody, he just said ok.

At the time my grandmother died he was reading Quran. He just kept continuing without saying any single word, not even any expression. Sometime I feel like he doesn’t have any emotion at all. When I got admitted at BUET and told him, he said ok, now which department you want to enroll yourself CSE or anything else? Then I got job he told me ok but don’t think of be settled down keep looking. Then I got admitted in different universities for PhD, he says ok and tell me how I can help you in this regard. And all these are emotion less speech! Without any expression!

Why I am not like him? How he manage that much strength? Every time I wonder when I saw him. Emotion! Emotion! Is a pretty bad thing. Human being should have any no emotion. I want to be like him. Emotion less cool old guy!

Life with Mathematics

It is almost one month I am working with Professor Boris Verkhovsky. He is a mathematician. I had very few experience of working with guy like him. He is interesting well at least he seems interesting to me. He works on cryptography more specifically Elliptic Curve Cryptography. The whole thing is mathematics. I was not very bad at mathematics but as soon as I start work with him I feel like I know nothing about mathematics. This is true that I never involved with such rigorous mathematics before in my computer science career. So I was struggling with it at the very beginning, now it becomes more or less comfortable. Still I am struggling with theoretical works. Hopefully it will be alright within couple of months. I know that will not be easier like previous one but I am trying, trying my best to be habituated with these stuffs.

He seems very helpful to me. He taught me all the way. I made myriad of mistakes but he guided me all the way. I was very good at modular arithmetic he taught me the A-B-Cs. Sometimes I wonder why he is so helpful to me at least he can get thousands of students like me. I, Shiblee am not different from others. I am very great full to him for bringing me back at mathematics arena. I start liking mathematics again. I was detached from mathematics for quite a long time. So, it was a great opportunity for me for backing in mathematics again. There was a time when I loved mathematics than anything else. However, things are going pretty fine and I am enjoying.