Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sepulcher

Sunday!!! A holiday!!! After a long, busy week people wait for Sunday. My room is 15 x 15 x 12. Maybe, much larger for grave. Yes, it is large, large in dimensions. It has ventilation, lights and other kind of cool stuffs but in nature it is a grave. Now it is almost 36 hours I am here, alone all alone. I didn’t see anybody since then. Would you please tell me what is the difference? Can you imagine, what that really means? It sucks!!! I don’t want any more week-end. I don’t. I will be sick if it continues. I can take it anymore. Even can’t concentrate on my study. Because this loneliness killing me.

When I was in Bangladesh, I opt for reclusion. But now I know what it really means. I am becoming sick. What can I do? How can I break it? I have tried to scream but it didn’t work. Even music doesn’t work well, internet, television nothing, nothing works. I am shivering because of my fear of loneliness. I fear, I fear to be alone!

Am I alive? I don’t think so. What should I do? I want to cry, please God I want some tears! Please! Is this life? Is it really worth to be here? Why? Why I’ll be here? Please, anybody give me a reason to be here. One single reason! I hate this individualism, I really hate it. I am going insane slowly but surely.

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