The Lone Star State

I have just come back from Texas trip, a three days road trip around the big cities and beaches of Texas. Everything was fine except I missed Hasib & Rassel a lot. I was just amazed by the traffic of Houston. I was little curious to know where all those people were going. Big Cities! Damn Big! Big cities make you feel like you are living, challenge you every moment with new set of challenges, keep you pursuing. You have to do lot of things; you have to do make it all in time. Crazy people with their superfast life!

I feel like Texas has more diversity than Oklahoma. Therefore, they are more progressive. One interesting thing is: I met more South-Asian people than American people in Texas. And there are so many Indian and Pakistani restaurants that you may get confused whether you are in India or America. Most of the Gas Stations are run by either Indian or Pakistani people (I had stopped at almost twenty and each of them are running by South-Asians).

Society

hmmm ooh hooo hooo

It's a mistery to me
we have a greed
with which we have agreed

You think you have to want
more than you need
until you have it all you won't be free

society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me

When you want more than you have
you think you need
and when you think more than you want
your thoughts begin to bleed

I think I need to find a bigger place
'cos when you have more than you think
you need more space

society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me

there's those thinking more or less less is more
but if less is more how you're keeping score?
Means for every point you make
your level drops
kinda like its starting from the top
you can't do that...

society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me

society, have mercy on me
I hope you're not angry if I disagree
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me

[Eddie Vedder - Into the Wild' 2007][Youtube]

Fall' 2008

Fall semester is over, my first semester in OU. I guess it went well. I did well in my classes. Dr. Dong was happy with me, hopefully I did well as TA so far. The only thing I was struggling with, is my research. Dr. Gruenwald was not happy enough. I had learnt so many things in one semester here. I loved the Formal Language course, especially Dr. Kim. He is such a good professor. I am enjoying absolute vacation now. I am loving it, complete idle life.

Yesterday was Christmas day, my first Christmas in United States. I spent my whole day with Ron, Diana, Cameron, Donovan and Dean. I had enjoyed a lot. I thought Christmas would be similar to Eid in Dhaka but it is not. It is calm and quite very unlike our Eid. I am not saying this is it, but this is how I saw it. The only difference seemed to me was: Wal-Mart was closed. Other than that it was hard to find any difference. I had been in the Journey Church at Christmas Eve. It was an interesting experience.

I had a series of dinner parties in last few days. Almost everyone from Bangladesh invited once for dinner within last couple of days. So I am having little bit different time. I merely love their company except selective few's. When I was in Bangladesh I had always avoided these kinds of folks. They are simply not my type. Anyway, all are part of my unfortunate life.

Happy Holidays

My holidays begin today. I had a presentation today in front of my groups. My holidays start after finishing that presentation. I am planning to go to Houston in these holidays for three or four days. This is my first Christmas and New Year in United States. But I think I should plan for Laramie but it didn’t work because of funds. I am a very poor fellow. :(

I can feel the calmness. Calmness is everywhere. It is easy to feel. I am loving this calmness. It is very foggy today in Norman. This is the first time I see fog here. Outside seems very mysterious because of fog. We have huge fog in Bangladesh during the winter. Actually I was wondered when I first saw here that sun is shining in full extend but still it doesn’t have any heat. Usually mysterious mist brings the cold weather in Bangladesh. So it was seemed very unusual to me at first.

Anyway, I am hoping a good holidays and wishing you all happy holidays!

Love Is Blind

They say love. Love is blind
And true love is hard to find
It makes you wonder now you're yesterdays news
At the bitter end of a love affair
Some you win some you loose

'Cause love is blind
Love is blind

They say time can heal the pain
But sooner or later it's back again
But don't be angry that your heart could be so wrong
When that old familiar feeling's got you
Singing the same old song

'Cause love is blind
Love is blind

Now your bed has been preparing
For the nights you'll sleep alone
Makes you wonder why you never learn from the past
'Cause this ain't the first time baby
And it won't be the last

'Cause love is blind
Love is blind
Love is blind
Love is blind

So if love, love is blind
And true love so hard to find
There's only one remedy to take away the pain
You gotta roll with the punches, baby,
And start all over again

'Cause love is blind
Love is blind

Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind
Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind
Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind
Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind, Love is blind

[David Coverdale][Youtube]

Do you know how I feel it?

I am interested about one thing, is knowledge truly transferable? I don’t think so. The information resides in my head have a complicated semantic relation with other knowledge and information. There is a way to express the knowledge or information but is there any way to express the semantic relation? Some time it is called perspective. Perspective is nothing but a complicated semantic relation of information with other information which forms new knowledge.

No two man react same way observing a same thing, right? Observing a same thing is like gathering new knowledge. And this new knowledge sits aside with olds and creates a complicated semantic relation with others. Probably these semantic relations make us think differently. I may know what you know if you write all of them but they are not same to me, i.e., they will not mean the same thing. Therefore something looses in the transformation process. The transformation process is intrinsically lossy.

Then what is the problem? Does the problem exist in language? I feel the problem exit in two different levels. There are some cases when people feel the limitations of languages to express his ideas but other time they just can’t express. So there is a problem exists in the level of expressing. A guy who can’t talk may be able to express lot of things but not all. Does it mean lack of his knowledge? Obviously not. I feel like are we are just unable to express ourselves. I never know what you really know even if you write all of them.

Maybe in future we will be able to express more complicated semantic information hence more lossless transformation, therefore faster propagation of knowledge. We all know Einstein’s theory of relativity but nobody knows what it means to him. I am just curious why it is taking too much time to come up with more elegance technique of transforming knowledge. My point is my expression technique and my expression media is not well enough to express the complicated semantics reside in my head. Maybe I have expressed everything I know about it (the expressible things) but it is impossible to express how I feel it (what inside my mind).

Shiblee is a crap

What I am doing? Is this something I have dreamed? I am doing my PhD, I am doing my research. Am I enjoying it? Yes, I guess I am enjoying it except the feedback part (it is almost …). I know I have to go a long way, I know I am not perfect and I don’t want to be perfect at all. All I want is a quest of perfection. Then what is problem? Maybe this not the way I am used to. Is this really necessary to be everything in my favorable shape? It is not necessary but it is desired. That’s what everyone expects. What if you get what you desired? Maybe I could do more. Is it? Maybe; maybe not. Then, what is the point of whole thing? The point is I should concentrate on my work more and more rather than what I have got in return.

Freedom-of-speech

I believe in humanity, I believe in freedom-of-speech. Freedom-of-speech implies everyone has the right to say what he believes without any moderation. Obviously, there is nothing called absolute freedom-of-speech. To me freedom-of-speech means the allowing other people to present their perspectives either in a positive or negative way. Obviously it is expected that the views are sensible. Well, the whole thing is vague. Sensible is a vague term and the level varies from man to man. But still there is an acceptance level of sensibility among the majority of the society. As we are human being and we live in a society therefore we define that level as a level of sensibility. Obviously, this definition doesn’t cover all the cases but it covers majority of the cases. My point is if say something it should be sensible or it must have strong support.

One more thing, I want to point out here. Any right is always governed by the place where it is executed. You have every right to make sex with your wife but it is not good idea to do that in the middle of a four way junction. So before doing anything you should consider “what are you doing” at the same time “where are you doing so”.

So far I haven’t used comment moderation in my blog. I didn’t want to humiliate my visitors. Using moderation seems to me as distrust on the sensibility of the visitors. It is humiliating to me. If someone suspects to my sensibility I would rather avoid that guy. Anyway, the whole point is before leaving any comment please think again is this right place? I expect more sensible comments form my visitors. Please do not leave such comments that enforce me to use comments moderation. Please don’t do it again.

ডিসেম্বর

ঢাকার আবহাওয়াটা এখন কেমন খুব জানতে ইচ্ছা হয় মাঝে মাঝে। এই সময়টা অনেক আগে থেকেই আমার খুব প্রিয়। যখন অনেক ছোট ছিলাম, এই সময়টাতে নানা বাড়ি বেড়াতে যেতাম। স্কুল বন্ধ থাকত, সারাদিন ঘুরে বেড়ানো যেত, খেলা যেত, কতো মজা। ঢাকার স্কুল পড়ুয়া সব বাচ্চাদের এই সময় টা হচ্ছে স্বপ্ন। আমি যখন অনেক ছোট ছিলাম, সারা বছর অপেক্ষা করতাম ডিসেম্বরের জন্য। সেই অপেক্ষা আজও শেষ হ্য়নি। ছোটবেলায় স্কাউট করার কারনে আমাকে বাহুবার চক্কর কাটতে হয়েছে ঢাকা স্টেডিয়ামে। এখনো সেই চক্করই কেটে যাচ্ছি!

প্রতি বছর লন্ঞ্চে করে নানা বাড়ি যাওয়া, সারা রাত জেগে নদীর ডেউ দেখা, আরও কতো কি? নদীর সেই ডেউ আজও আমার পিছ ছারলো না, বরং আরো দুইটা ছাগল জোটাই দিল, আমার সাথে। বড়ো হয়ে শুধু নদীর উপর রাত কাটাব বলে বরিশাল গেছি অনেকবার, আবার সকাল বেলা চলে আসছি। এই রকম কোন এক ডিসেম্বরে আমার প্রথম ভাললাগা। আমি তখন বায়োসন্ধি কালের শুরুতে। তখনও ঠিক বুঝি না পুরা বেপারটা, শুধু বুঝি বন্ধু বাদে মেয়েদের সাথে আরোও এক ধরনের সম্পর্ক সম্ভব। যাই হোক জীবন থেমে থাকেনি, চলে এসেছি অনেক দুর। এই রকম কোন এক ডিসেম্বরে আমার প্রথম বাড়ির বাইরে থাকা। কতো ভয়, উৎকন্ঠা তবুও কিছুটা নিজেকে ছারিয়ে যাওয়া, কিছুটা বড়ো হওয়া। মনে পরে অনেক মিথ্যা, অনেক প্লান দিয়ে ঢেকেও পুরা ব্যাপারটা টাকে ধামাচাপা দিতে পারি নাই। এই রকম একটা ডিসেম্বরে আমি বাসা ছেরে হোস্টেলে থাকা শুরু করি। হায়রে জীবন! কোথায় যে নিয়ে যাচ্ছে আমাকে। পাশ করার পর আমার প্রথম চাকরিটাও শুরু করি এই ডিসেম্বর মাসেই। অনেক ডিসেম্বর পার করে দিলাম জীবনে।

এই দুর পরবাসে এটাই আমার প্রথম ডিসেম্বর। ঠান্ডাটা এখানে কিন্ঞ্চিত বেশি, এই যা। অনেক কিছুই এখন মিস করি। মামুন ভাইয়া একটা কথা খুব বলতো, যাচ্ছ তো, বিদেশে গিয়া, রাস্তার কুকুরটাকেও মিস করবা। মামুন ভাইয়ার কথা যে কতটা সত্যি, সেটা মাঝে মাঝে টের পাই। সময় গুলো ক্রমশই বিমর্ষ হয়ে যাচ্ছে, সেই জীবনতো আর ফিরে পাওয়া যাবে না, স্ব্রিতি গুলোকে বাচিয়ে রাখার চেষ্টা। যদি যাওয়া যায় সেই দিন গুলার কাছে, যে কোন ভাবে? সেদিন দেখলাম কানেকটিকাট ইউনিভার্সিটির এক প্রফেসর তার বাবার কাছে যাবার জন্য টাইম মেশিন বানাচ্ছে। কি জানি একদিন হ্য়তো পারবো ফিরে যেতে।

Reversible Computing & Cellular Automata

As part of Formal Languages course I had to read a paper, present it and write a report on it. The title of the paper was, “Reversible Computing and Cellular Automata – A survey” by Kenichi Morita from Hiroshima University. He is one of the top most scientists of theoretical computer science.

The paper was very interesting and I knew very little about these topics before. It was a survey paper on reversible computing and cellular automata. I would like to share my presentation and report here. As this is my first presentation here outside my research group. Anyway the topics were very interesting. I hope you enjoy the topic.

Here they have reports with almost every course. This is kind of new thing for me. CSE BUET undergrad courses are in very good standard (I believe more than they do here in undergrad) but they don’t have any report along with the courses. The only report I had submitted in my undergrad is my thesis report.

Distraction, distraction and distraction!

Crazy days are passing by. So many things to do, so many places to go! Sometimes, I am just afraid if I could make it. Sometimes, I feel tired, really heck of a god damn tired. I had read a quote long ago, “When someone commits suicide, it really means this fucking life is not worth of living”. That’s kind of an interesting quote, isn’t it? Actually I have very little to tell about myself. I am not that much boring maybe my poor life. Why I am writing this? Ummm…

Today is Eid-ul-Adha in America. This is my second eid in United States. So I am kind of habituated with whole things and I know what it means in United States. Hence, I didn’t expect more than that. To me, I feel like only important thing in life is time. Give some time to time to fix up the whole things. What the hell I am writing? Ummm…

There are millions more like these questions. Do I know really know the answers? Who cares? I can live without knowing these fuzzy questions and answers. So what’s the big deal in that? No points! I can write like these for few more hours. Do they really make any sense? No more question, I am quitting here. Eid Mubarak! Once again…