It's 31th July

According to Dhaka time it is 31th, July around one am. Exactly one year before, I took the flight for United States from Dhaka. I have been here for one year, three sixty five days! I can’t believe! Time flies very fast, real fast. What I have done so far other than complaining about my life? Hard to find some real fruitful stuff! I am almost okay in my new place. The only problem is I am missing my buddies.

I got some new friends here, they are okay. Friends in later life are not same as high school friends of college friends. There is something about that time; friends from those days are crazy and it is real easy to find friends at that time. Having new friends is becoming difficult with the age. In fact finding new friend is not easy at this age. Anyway, I got some and they are cool.

I got a family here; they are superb and love them. They care about me a lot. Probably they are the best thing I have got here. I don’t know why, Maruf doesn’t like it and he tried to mock me lot of times. But I never care; even I don’t care of paying attention to him. I am always arrogant; I am more arrogant than I appear to be.

I am almost half way of my masters. I am half way of my research and course works. I am trying to wrap all my things in time. So far I think I am on schedule. I might need little bit extra pace next semester but so far I am okay. Course works are always easy part of the story. Research work is average. Project work is on schedule. Overall I am okay.

A kid

Sometimes, I feel like if could run away, if I could run away from myself, if I could run away from everything. Sometimes I feel like exactly that’s what I am doing; I am running away from myself, every single day, every single moment. People run after their future I run away from my present. God gave me almost infinite capability of being unhappy. No matter where I am, whatever I am doing, I can be unhappy. Some people are never happy with what they have. I am not one of those; trust me I am not one of those. I just get bored of what I have. I try to through them away to create the vacancy for new things regardless of what they are.

Somewhere in my mind there is still a kid. A kid who is mad of new toys but forget them as soon as he gets them. I love that kid, that stupid little kid, I can’t help. I just get bored of anything and everything. Please forgive me if it hurts you. Please forgive me; I cannot go beyond my limitations.

NB. I am not willing to talk about any content of this blog in person. If you have any question or comment about any content of this blog please feel free to leave a message here. I would appreciate if you don’t ask me/talk to me in person about it. If you don’t like what I say here please leave it alone. If you can’t stand my blog at all just feel free to tell me, I will take appropriate steps but please do not bug me!!!

Smoking

It was barely in my adolescence when I smoked for the first time. It was kind of exploring something new, something proscribed something different. It was kind of teenage appeal. I didn’t continue smoking at that time. It was random, fun and secret kind of thing. I lost interest of that fun very quickly and after that I never smoke until my college.

When I was in college I used to smoke occasionally but not too often. I was sort of regular smoker since my university life. My regular smoking started with John Player’s Gold Leaf. It was forty bucks at that time (two bucks per stick). It was hard to smoke Gold Leaf because it was a bit harsh. I used to smoke a lot at that time; around one to two packs a day. I used to torture my body at that time quite a lot so it got weak and I couldn’t stand it anymore. By the time, they had increased the price of Gold Leaf, so I had decided to switch to Benson & Hedges. It was very light compare to Gold Leaf. I was trying to be use to with the new brand. I used to smoke Benson & Hedges till I come to United States. That was a pretty long time.

Cigarettes are not that much available here and everyone needs a valid form of government ID card to confirm the age to buy cigarettes. It was kind of difficult for me to carry an ID with me all the time. So, I could not buy it all the time. After trying couple of brands I have started smoking Marlboro Light since I came here. But I used to start losing interest on cigarettes before coming here and unavailability intense the whole thing a little bit. After few months of regular smoking here, once again I become an occasional smoker.

Sometimes, it is really hard to stand the life here. On those days, I need cigarettes. I need cigarettes when I feel bad. I need cigarettes when I miss my friends. I need cigarettes when I think of my old days. I never try to quit smoking because of my health; personally I am not a big fan of the idea “living more by quitting life” but I don't want to kill the other people either.

bits and dots

I am feeling tired. I had a meeting this morning. It went well. Then she asked us to write a big report about what we have done so far including failure and success. It is not easy to summarize the effort of a whole year. That stupid big report is due tonight. I have not written a single line yet. I have been sitting in front this word document for two hours then I start writing these. I don’t feel like working now but I have to. Any task can be boring if there is a time constrains. We have the NSF thing on next week and then done. The good thing is everything is done by this month. That is the real good part of the story.

I am going to Chicago in the first week of August. I can’t concentrate on anything after I have booked the ticket for Chicago. For some reason I feel like I am going home :D. Funny, I have never been there before but still feel that way. I did a crazy thing other day when she approved the leave. I had started jumping and running in the hallway of computer science department. I was so excited that I didn’t even look for the better deal when I booked the ticket (But I believe I got a good deal even though my lab-mate doesn’t think so). Stupid little, little things called life!!!

Business-people

I have an interesting view about American life. Everything you can think of here, you can find some people who are willing to do those for you. Everything is business here. I have seen an interesting flyer yesterday; it was saying “proposing someone is not easy, and it is most memorable part of your life, so tell us and we will do the rest for you”. The most interesting flyer I have ever seen. They will create the environment for you to propose. I found it very hilarious. There are some business-people who are trying to make some money with this. I even could not imagine this kind service before.

Sometimes I feel like these business-people are making life more boring. They are willing to do almost everything you can think of. They left no challenge for common people. Life will eventually be boring without real challenge. Then the business people will again find some challenge for you then solutions again challenge and solutions, a circle. I feel like they are making people fool putting them in the circle and make money. There is no doubt they are extremely good at business. They can make a business almost out of nothing. They are really efficient, they are amazing people. I just staring at them with rolling eyes and my eyes keep rolling and rolling and rolling; sometimes I feel like they will pop out!!!

Stupid Research

I almost did nothing in last week. I am stuck in a step in my research. This stupid research is controlling everything now. If everything in research work fine then I am fine if not then I don’t know what happen to me, everything got screwed. I hate becoming stuck. I was trying to figure out a mathematic for the whole week and end result is zero. I don’t know how long it will take but it is killing me. The problem is I had not made any progress last week. Last week I had tried from different perspective but not much luck. It’s like I am getting stuck. I hate this state. Research sucks!

Weird weekend

This weekend was weird. I watched so many movies and all are master pieces. The weekend started with “The boy in the striped pajamas” then “Taxi Driver” and finally today “City of God” and “Schindler’s List”. The first and the last are about World War II and the intermediate twos are about two complete different life styles. The first and the last one should be in the must see list. The only thing common in all of them is violence. I like all of them.

I misbehaved with Pennsylvania girl today. I don’t know for some reason my stupid temperament got more stupid today and I said something really terribly bad. I really loosed my temperament. I always afraid my bad temper. It already brought lot of trouble in my life and I don’t want anymore. But I don’t want a girl in my life either. Anyway shit happens in life.

Data mining

Data mining is an interesting kind of thing. There is an equation for everything happen in the world. Data Mining is finding those equations. This is interesting kind of science. My lab called it pseudo science. Data Mining is kind of mixture of everything, most of the parts are maths then statistics then artificial intelligence and so. Dr. Gruenwald thinks it is a magic word to her students. Whatever it is, it is a good fun.

To me data mining is revealing the underlying truth from a phenomenon, the underneath truth hidden from rest of the world. The best part of the data mining is nobody knows the correct answer. In fact this is true for all kind of science. There is nothing called truth in science. Science is all about guessing, there is nothing called truth.

Most of my work is data mining related. If anybody ask me “why data mining?”, I use to answer because it is easy. Another thing in data mining is: we enjoy the liberty of doing whatever we like to do. Real life is wild enough. We always can find something that fits our model well. Once again, all models are wrong but some are useful. Our job is to find a good model that fits with real world. There is no end of improvement in this domain. As a security researcher my job is to build a model that can find the intruders. Fun and fancy! Isn’t it?

Accelerated Search for Gaussian Generator Based on Triple Prime Integers

Problem statement: Modern cryptographic algorithms are based on complexity of two problems: Integer factorization of real integers and a Discrete Logarithm Problem (DLP). Approach: The latter problem is even more complicated in the domain of complex integers, where Public Key Cryptosystems (PKC) had an advantage over analogous encryption-decryption protocols in arithmetic of real integers modulo p: The former PKC have quadratic cycles of order O (p2) while the latter PKC had linear cycles of order O(p). Results: An accelerated non-deterministic search algorithm for a primitive root (generator) in a domain of complex integers modulo triple prime p was provided in this study. It showed the properties of triple primes, the frequencies of their occurrence on a specified interval and analyzed the efficiency of the proposed algorithm. Conclusion: Numerous computer experiments and their analysis indicated that three trials were sufficient on average to find a Gaussian generator.

Appeared In Journal of Computer Science, 2009.

iPod Shuffle

I got a new iPod! interesting huh! I was planning to buy a new one since couple of months. Finally I have bought the new iPod shuffle. It is cool and interesting. It is almost what I like, small, elegant and simple. I am big fan of small and simple things. The new iPod shuffle is exactly what I want.

It comes with an interesting cool feature, voice over. Why do you need a display on an mp3 player? Maybe to navigate. Well it helps to navigate or other way it provides the knowing status of the device. Interesting they embed a talking module inside the new iPod shuffle so that it will read the device status to you and you will navigate based one that information. It may seem very weird at first but the idea is very cool. It seems weird at first glance because we are too habituated with our eyes for the navigation but it is possible to use other perceptional organs to percept information that might help. Interesting idea!

Sometimes, we forgot our eyes are not only perceptional organs. We rely on our eyes more than other perceptional organs. All the perceptional organs could be equally perfect if we start using them effectively. On this perspective I found this idea absolutely brilliant.

Rain in Dhaka

Thanks to Tinny for sending me this picture.