Nondeterministic vs. Deterministic

Is human mind nondeterministic? I was trying to sleep last night and it was not helping much. Then I had tried meditation. I am never good at it. Every time I tried meditation, I got distracted but I find an interesting thing yesterday. Every time I had started with a big light source right above my head and I am laying supine in a scenic place. I was trying to concentrate on the big light source and try to feel the emptiness inside my mind with deep breath. I think the starting was okay but after every several minutes or so I found myself thinking something else, something very unrelated with my original point.

First few times I had tried to discover the chain of thought, how I get into this point? I found it is very difficult to backtrack the string of thoughts (but I was able to track it back for twice or trice). Then I tried to find the relation, the relation between the points I end up with my real life. Interestingly I got confused, I am not sure if there is any relation at all. Then I start playing with my thoughts. Every time I start from same point and try to concentrate but after some time I found me in entirely different place. So I tried to memorize the places and I was trying to find any relationship among the different places. Interestingly it is hard to find any real relation among the end points. I feel like my thought process randomly roaming around. I feel like it is a nondeterministic process. It is a very interesting nondeterministic process the same start point can take you to the entirely different end point.

Apparently human thought process is not entirely random and we can drive it to a desired direction (I am not sure, is it a desired direction or we took it as desired direction). Anyway, I agree that we are controlling our thoughts in some way, so this is a deterministic process. Now there is a mystery how we drive a nondeterministic process into a deterministic one. There might be another possibility, some part of our brain is nondeterministic and some are deterministic. But I can always argue that they are not deterministic rather they only keep the fit infants which makes them more like deterministic. Finally if there such a transformation exists then why can’t we use them in nondeterministic computing? Genetic process could be a way of transforming a nondeterministic one into a deterministic one or maybe something entirely different. (Probably I had slept at this point…)