Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Stairway To Heaven

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying the stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying the stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying the stairway to heaven.

[Led Zeppelin]

Top of the food chain!

I am enough lucky to be in the top of the food chain. I know it's not easy to be in anything other than top. How we became the top of the food chain? That's a whole different story, I am not going to tell the story again but in course of being the top we learn something! We got imagination! And we learn how to be the top, somehow we know how much it costs to be anywhere other than top and that's why our perpetual desire to be on the top. Unfortunately this world is never mean to accommodate so many tops but no problem as a human race we got imagination. We make our own pseudo-worlds and put ourselves on the top of them. Huh! I am on the top!!! Somehow in course of journey from Ape to here we forgot there are other instincts not just imagination. Somehow we forgot we are social being; we survived against deadly enemies because we fought together. Necessity brought us together; is it gone!? Do we really need to stand together anymore? I don't know the answer but being lonely still hurts. Somehow we don't see our insatiable desire for the top is making us alone, it is making us weak. One day we will be wiped out entirely from this beautiful world, I hope future races would not condemn our greed as "the reason."

I received an email from topu bhai today; he is going start up a new company! Well, I admire entrepreneurship. It's risky, it's lonely, it is full of shit! But I don't like the idea of starting one more outsourcing company unless you really know why you left your old company! What was missing in there? What's new you are going to do? Is it just because you wanna be top of the organization, is it little more money!? Doing the same thing again and again in a different place is no better than basic animal instinct. Every animal makes their own houses at certain age, they do exactly same thing what their ancestor taught them to do; does it make all of them entrepreneur? I bet on 'no'; entrepreneurship deserves innovation. Somehow we got rid of the innovation part and we hook up with the idea of 'being top'. To me this is a basic animal instinct we are doing no better than a tiny bird who is making his own nest the way he has been taught.

Due to enormous pressure of our population our land got cluttered back in eighties/nineties and every farmer cultivates a tiny piece of land. A huge space was occupied by isles to put them apart. So back then people came up with the idea of combine cultivation. We saw the trap of tearing the land apart and now doing the exactly same shit here in our organization! Wow! great! Congratulations new entrepreneurs! 

Monday, June 27, 2011

My lonely blog!

I was thinking about writing something this morning and I came to my blog. I am amazed how hard it is to write something for me now. Things were same when I first started my blog and then at some point it was as easy as talking. I am feeling that block again. Interesting. I haven't really anything for long time and I almost lost my spirit of writing :( Well that's not good. I love to share my word with other people. What's the reason I can't write? My blog is private now; no one gonna read it anyway, is that the reason of my block?

My lonely blog is even lonelier now. I made it private! why? I was thinking may be I am thinking so much before writing anything and it would be easier for to write if I know nobody is gonna read it. But apparently that didn't work. Another thing is this blog is my friend for long time and it was my only companion of my lonely time. I think I have so many people now I forgot my best buddy! Life did the justice and brought back me to my old friend. I am still a loner but only difference is now I am surrounded by many people. I have to learn to be loner while in the middle of the crowd.

I love my lonely blog, it always embraces me, no matter when I come to it. I feel like I really did injustice to my blog. Every time I got something I set it aside in my oblivion but it never turned me down. I am the sinner! I turned it down, my lonely blog, my sweet lonely blog.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Let It Be

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

[The Beatles]

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Dr. Gruenwald!

These days so many things happening centering her. Yes, she is still my advisor and she is becoming notorious as a trouble creator. Interesting all of her students end up having another advisor before their defense and most students don't last more than a semester. Wow! she is amazing. I believe no one in our department likes her. She already became notorious as a trouble creator. No wonder students working for her suffer are always unsecured. All of her students have complain about her, I wonder why? Even, she made trouble with the students who took independent study with her. Oooops!!! this is absurd. I wonder why? what could be so wrong with a person that nobody likes her? Well, it is difficult to explain!

Interestingly, she has been nice with me so far. Great! but why? I know for sure she would change her color. What I don't know is when? I am fine with that. I can work with people hated by everyone. That's fun, that's tough and that's insane. Serendipity or my character whatever it is, I have dealt with many people like this in my life and interestingly (or unfortunately) these kind of people like me! Even more interesting is that, other people don't like the fact that your are working with someone who is hated by everyone; they immediately think I am the only reason they can't brought her down! Funny, why would I be hateful to someone who didn't do anything bad to me!? Even more, she is so far very nice to me!!! I know this situation would not prevail forever but if I leave her would it not be the same? I want to be nice to here as long as she is nice to me.

Even if she is a bitch, that's fine with me. Even me, I am not nice to everyone. No one is nice to everyone. I believe she is just ahead of the curve. I know she can be bad to me anytime; wait a bit, anyone can do that too. Yes I understand the probability is high for here case. So the obvious question is does the outcome worth taking the risk? I haven't think this before! It is a good question to ask? I need to find this answer. Most importantly I don't expect anything from her. I know she would not give me any reference for interns, I believe not even for jobs. Let me see how things shape up!

Well, what are the complains about her? Probably she is little bit demanding and never thinks about the student. All she care about is herself. Students are pretty much on their own. If you don't know how to use your independence then it could be a real trouble for some. If you can't imagine that now, I can tell, it can take you to a wrong direction very easily. So every time there is a conflict of interest between her and her student, they end up in a mess. Overall, I don't recommend her as an advisor unless you really don't have other way.