What if I were a mobster?

When I was a kid I had dream I wanted to be a mobster. I don't how that idea came into my mind but I had a feeling that only mobsters are living their life in full extend. I was fascinated with the idea about roaming around with lot of followers and doing whatever one likes to do. Unfortunately I had a fall back and I became a engineer; but I still wonder what makes me think that mobster could be a way of life. Maybe I didn't understand the meaning of being a mobster, well that not excusable; because I didn't know the meaning of anything! Then why did I choose mobster? Do they look like happy? Well I never met one who is happy. Life is a world full lies and blood can be anything but happy. Am I happy? Well practically nobody is. The idea that I wanted to be a mobster used to frightened me; because there could be some other kids who still hold that idea and working in their way. Now, it does not; because now feel mobsters are no more harmful than some so called ordinary guy in our society (they are interesting indeed). 

Anyway, let's do a thought experiment,

What if I were a mobster?

I would rob people, do business in black market, kill some, etc.

How do I feel about it?

Probably I wouldn't feel bad; because I suppose I would always be surrounded by people like me and I would probably seek comfort in the idea that I have to be tough to survive in this world.

What would be my goal then?

I think I would think of being bigger mobster.

What if I were the biggest of them?

I would probably think of earning more money. (! that's what we all do in all professions)

What would be in my wish list?

I think I'll quit some day! 

Whom would I love most?

The people I still do.

Well it's not going well, let's call it quit.